“Life isn’t about Finding yourself,
Life is about creating yourself.”George Bernard Shaw
Somewhere along the course of my life I came to this realization. Life is about creating ourselves. We can be whoever we want. I am not talking about wanting to be the President, a ballerina or firefighter. I am not talking about what we do I mean that we control who we are.
Trials and unforeseen occurrences mess with our plans for ourselves. Maybe you had a dream of becoming a firefighter but were born with asthma. Perhaps you were on your way to becoming a dancer when you got in a car accident that took the use of your legs. We can’t control what happens to us but our circumstances don’t control how we respond to life. We are empowered with the ability to modify our thinking…sometimes we don’t put effort into our reactions, we feel overwhelmed and resort to living on autopilot.
Letting life happen to us instead of planning what we want to get out of life is what holds the majority of us back. We all know this, whether or not we acknowledge it is entirely different. Let me explain, think for a moment about someone you heard about recently. Maybe a child with Down-syndrome who became a model. A man with no legs or arms becoming an inspirational speaker. A woman who overcame addiction and writes books about her journey. Do a quick google search for “Inspirational Stories” and you will find a plethora of examples of people who are taking charge of the way they are reacting to their life.
I love the idea of controlling my actions and reactions to the point that I am exactly who I want to be. Always responding with kindness to unkindness, to be calm every time my autistic son has a meltdown. To stand up for myself and my ideas when necessary. To actually follow through with the great ideas I come up with. I’m not there yet, I am a work in progress. I am not the beautiful balanced person that I have in mind for myself. I am not far into this journey of growth and some days I am overwhelmed with my life and fail in my goals for mindfulness.However, I can be proud of myself for trying.
Like all of you I want to be good at what I do. For me and likely many of you that means trying to be a good spouse, a good parent and a good human being in general. How each individual achieves these goals is going to be different. The beautiful thing is we don’t have to things the same way to be good human beings. Regardless of our specific goals we need to develop a good conscious and then follow it to the best of our ability.
Along this line of thinking its reasonable to think that as the years pass we become a different person. We change and we grow, thank goodness right? I’m sure most of us don”t love who we were as a teenager but maybe with this perspective we can look back and accept that we were just at an earlier point on this path. Eventually that lost person led you to where you are today and who you are today is going to help you reach the next stages of your life. Lets all try to make our effort count.
At the time of writing this I am a 28 year old woman. Gosh though saying woman doesn’t sound right, because I still feel like a teenager sometimes. Here I am though, an adult. I have a husband and two sons. My boys have been diagnosed with autism among other things and we will probably get a autism spectrum diagnosis for my husband one of these days too.
I am going to be upfront about my relationship with autism, because it lets you know a little about who I am. Autism makes life challenging because it creates differences between individuals that may be difficult to understand. There are differences between all individuals but sometimes understanding someone on the spectrum takes a little more effort. It is worth it though, to grow to a point where you can understand. It is so important to get to know people on the spectrum, for who they are instead of trying to change them. People with autism, or autistic individuals (depending on your preference for people first language, or not) need to be met with acceptance. Most autistic adults don’t want a cure and they believe that being autistic is a part of their identity, its how their brain works, it is who they are. I think it is essential to accept them as important, contributing members of society. That doesn’t mean doctors and scientists shouldn’t find ways to help them with their struggles. Like all humans, people on the spectrum would like comprehensive medical care, medication that works to treat what they want treated. They also have the right to reject treatment just like everyone else.
It almost feels silly having to point this out, we keep going over the same lessons in history as a society. Just because someone is different from us does not mean that they are less. We think we have it down then we get it wrapped in different paper and have to learn it all over again. Learning and growing, unlearning and unknowing.
Alright, so 28 years old, with kids that have special needs. What am I doing living in a travel trailer? Why did I set off in this direction in my life? If I broke it all down, what led me in this direction, we would be here all day. For now lets just say that my given experiences, and personality, naturally led me to this path and I accepted the challenges that go with it.
In fact, I am finding that the challenges associated with this course are exactly the ones that I am willing to overcome. If we are being honest I took the path that was easiest for me and mine. Along the way I have found that it is freeing to do things a little different then what is socially acceptable.
‘It’s okay to live a life others don’t understand.’Jenna Woginrich
I enjoyed sharing a little about myself and my family with you. I hope you enjoyed it as well. Feel free to tell me a little about yourself in the comment section, or mention what drew you to my blog. I would love to hear about your adventure, or your plans for one. If you aren’t looking to share publicly you are welcome to e-mail by clicking the envelope below!
P.S. I grew up with four older brothers. Now I live with a husband, two sons and our handsome male cat. I’m truly a girl outnumbered ; )